Random Facebook Comment #1

When I was a kid (I will be 52 May 1) There was a record album for kids called “Free to be You and Me”. It was a pet project of the talk show host Phil Donahue, and his actress wife Margot Thomas. They got celebrities to perform feminist songs to both boys and girls. It’s one of my favorite albums of all time, even though I don’t listen to it much now that I’m an adult.
One of the songs is “It’s alright to Cry” and it’s sung by Rosie Grier, who was a former NFL star at the time. I love Rosie Grier because of that song and I will never forget what he taught me.

It’s all right to cry
Crying gets the sad out of you
It’s all right to cry
It might make you feel better
Raindrops from your eyes
Washing all the mad out of you
Raindrops from your eyes
It’s gonna make you feel better
It’s all right to feel things
Though the feelings may be strange
Feelings are such real things
And they change and change and change
Sad ‘n’ grumpy, down in the dumpy
Snuggly, hugly, mean ‘n’ ugly
Sloppy, slappy, hoppy, happy
Change and change and change
It’s all right to know
Feelings come and feelings go
It’s all right to cry
It might make you feel better
It’s all right to cry, little boy
I know some big boys that cry too.
Its alright to cry.

Shadowy Figure

By: Cuttlefish

Here’s a soldier
Here’s a war
He doesn’t know what
he’s fighting for

Here’s a battle
Here’s a fight
A star crossed lover
Became a knight

There are other others
Just like him
And their are fates yet more grim

Fluorite and Leather

He said I love you in fluorite and leather
You live in a house on fire
A fire reveals the land, I said
It sounded better in my head

He said I love you in sunstone and apatite
You love in dust and particles
I said particulate matter shapes all of us
Incorporates all of us
I pray to the space between

He said your love turns me to granite
I said there’s nothing I’d rather be
Than a gemstone beneath your feet
But I’m me.

Random Facebook Post

If I’ve ghosted you in the past, it’s because I have a mental illness. If I could control it or even understand it, it wouldn’t be called mental illness. It’s a chronic thing I have, and I’m doing the best I can. Please be patient and don’t take it personally. Thanks.

I’m Crazy

I’m crazy.
Not ha ha crazy
Not la la crazy
Just crazy
It’s not fun, funny cute, or relatable
It’s suffering
a form of which I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy
It keeps me down
Keeps me in bed
Keeps the lights out
It goes on and on
And it never stops

Open Letter to Person who stole from me at the Santa Cruz Farmer’s Market

I would like to address the person who stole money and documents (that were completely random to them) out of my purse at the Downtown Santa Cruz Farmer’s Market on Wednesday, August 11. Certainly, it was my fault for being negligent and trusting. The vendors tend to watch out for each other, and up to this point I had been enjoying the “high” of so many nice, friendly, honest patrons as well. I probably left my purse behind my table for a few minutes and gave you plenty of opportunity to steal from me.

Let’s set aside the fact that my “booth” has been a series of TV trays covered by felt. Let’s also set aside the fact that I work my butt off to replace the jewelry I sell (at very low prices by the way) every week. The reason I sell my jewelry at the Farmer’s Market is that I’m poor and need the money. I may not be as poor as you are, but I bite my nails at the first of the month along with just about everybody else in Santa Cruz. In addition, some of the papers and business cards you stole when you reached into my purse were of no importance to you, but their loss to me has had serious and severe consequences.

I could speculate on your motivation and make a snarky drug comment, but everybody knows a desperate, hungry person these days. As any news source will tell you, things are tough all over. What I do know is that your small, temporary solution to what is probably a long-term problem has now become my very big problem. It’s a temporary problem, I’ll admit, but it’s a problem you gave me and one I feel I neither earned nor deserved.

If you knew me, you would know that there is hardly a better friend of the poor, mentally ill, and/or homeless than myself. I count more than a few of each of those populations as personal friends. I give clothes, time, and a couple of couches in my house during the Winter to folks in need. Perhaps you’re not a member of any of those populations anyway. Perhaps you’re an addict, or perhaps you’re just a greedy scumbag. In any event, you’re now a thief. I’m far from a saint, and frankly, I’ve stolen myself in the far past. But even at the very lowest points in my life, I would never, ever, steal from an obviously not-rich person who was trying to earn money selling stuff they make.

Whoever you are, you got my dough, threw the papers away, and nuts to me. My bad. I just wanted to let you know that there are consequences to your actions. For one thing, that’s the last time you’re going to have the opportunity to steal from me, and I’m going to make damn sure you won’t have that opportunity with anyone else who sells at the Farmer’s Market either. You’ve also inspired me to become more active than I’ve ever been to ensure that this becomes the kind of community where stuff like this simply doesn’t happen.

In short, I’m going to do everything in my power to make your short term solution your very big problem.